Sunday, March 15, 2015

"ytinummoc ym fo tesb ehT"

“We have the capacity to function our brain at 100% but circumstances have denied the passage to 100% usage of our brain.”

Attention! Disclaimer: This is the sole thought of my alter-ego and the name of the community as well as the incidents mentioned in this blog is not fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely intentional. Please do know that this not a policy or a memorandum to change your priceless values. ***It is a mockumentary from my alter-ego mind directed towards my community which I cannot keep as secrets.***

The fact is I belong to Chiru tribe, one of the smallest tribal communities in Manipur. You can take us the wrong or the right way because we are the most stubborn and ego-centered tribal community. We do not believe in coherence system. I am not denying that I do not belong to these groups. Well, I'm also part of it. We believe, I, alone can change the world with the mentality of “I don't need your f**king advice.” We may come across working together in MNC or Central Government or State Government but you will not see us sitting together for breakfast or lunch because we placed pride above people. We think everyone doesn’t deserve respect unless one from his family is an Indian Administrative Service officer or Gazette Officer or medical professional. We may be closely related however the closer ones are our biggest enemy because we believe in the saying “Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer” literally.

It took us more than 10 years to complete the Bible translation to our own dialect, and that too, only New Testament. When the translated Bible was launched, we did very well to criticize the translation as if the Bible has been translated to another dialect. Our main reason for our proactive criticism is because we want the Bible in own family version of mother tongue. And it is going to take us another 20 years to translate the Old Testament because like it has been mentioned earlier, we are not coherence in bringing out our ideas and our dialect vocabularies. But we will rap out dozens of vocabulary like vomiting at full throttle after the translated Bible is printed. That’s how we do things.
We don't make eye to eye communication rather we are very good communicator from back, popularly known as backbiting. We never care about our villages because we believe in the mantra there is a better life outside whereas our villages are not good enough for better people like us and the truth is we are never ashamed of our origin. We switch our sides like a chameleon changes it colors every now and then. In fact, the reptile “Chameleon” and “Chiru” appears to be like siblings as both the word starts with “CH”.

Further, when we are back to our villages, we tried hard to avoid anyone with low standard of taste and fashion even if the person used to be our childhood friends. Now that we think we are better than everyone, we expect our level of standard should also followed by others. We also don't give a damn on our villages’ authority administration because our respective villages’ chiefs are all f**king clown and ignorant who doesn't have education like us. We do not take initiatives unless it is fed to us by spoon because they don't deserve our educated mind “ideas” and “innovation”. We believe the village authority did not pay for our education, and why the heck do we need to return the favor of helping develop all our villages? We are Christians and go to Church every Sunday but we least respect the pastors because their sons and daughters or relatives also party with us.

We are really good at cracking jokes with reference to every village of ours. We think there is nothing funnier than cracking jokes on the accent of our dialect which is differ from village to village. We also nicknamed our villages, like we called Dolang village as “To-Jang”, Charoikhullen village as “Shei-ek char”, Nungsai as “Thairam”, Langdangmei as “Lung-mo”, etc.

Among the best, the Youth society in each of our villages is still run like dictator government. If you raised your voice and instead of providing the explanation, they will counter you back with, “Where is your manner?” If you politely questioned the system, they will say, “The system worked for us; and anyway you are going the leave the village again for studies or work, so why change it?” And if you are not good with guitar, they will say, “You are not like Christian” and continues to conclude with “Just seat in the choir bench and sing the Hymnal songs.” This is great! **N.B. The “you” refers to a person who does not belong to Chiru communities and he/she is an idiot. **

Our parents are our biggest fans in the world. Their best advice is, “Do not be like them, they are bad people and you will never gain anything from them.” And our parents don’t give us the time to know a person better rather pre-judged or condemned the person which we believe it is right. We all still believe the story about witch-hunt prevalent in all our villages even though we are very faithful Christians. And we don’t eat in the house of those who have been declared witch; otherwise we will also turn into witch, and thanks to our parents and elders for the efforts on fingering out the witches. The best part is we still expect a place in heaven because we do not want learn to live with our own neighbors or love each other.

Some of us live in major metropolitan cities, but you will not find us together except once in a monthly basis and the advent Christmas celebration in early winter, and that’s awesome. As we work our ass off like we are the only one working here in Delhi and contributing the most in Indian economy, it’s a relief. We also think we are the best among the students in Delhi University. And we tried multiple competitions examination continuously for 3-4 years without getting through. Once we gave up, we are right blaming the examination authority and for the unfair treatment meted to us by the larger communities, and for taking away our position because we belong to smaller communities.

With reference to our working environment and growth, we are absolutely right to treat our status in line with the elites like C.E.O., C.F.O., M.D., Board of Directors, etc. The fact is “We are better people.” We genuinely believe we will be like one of these people if we were not born in Manipur as Chiru. We believe the curse of being born as Chiru is that “We have the brains to function at the maximum 100% but circumstances have denied the passage to 100% usage of our brain.” We believe, even with only 10-15% usage of our brains, we have already make a huge contribution in the knowledge chapter of our human history.

NO thank you. Have a bad evening! This is my alter-ego signing out.

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